The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator. (Alma 30:44)

Alma lays out both a scientific and mathematical argument in this verse – speaking of the complexity of the creation and its intricate, “regular” operation as proof that God exists. In essence, he says,

“This could not be without a God to make it be.”

This seems simple to many people – that the creation itself, seen as encompassing all of which we are aware, testifies of a Supreme Creator. These people often can’t understand how is it not self-apparent to all. They think,

“Why can some people look around – or even study the intricacies of molecular biology and string theory and quantum physics and other astounding modern discoveries – and not see that it simply can’t be the result of random mutation from an origin that still is unfathomable to scientists? Why can these people not understand this, even when many of them are very good, moral people? We haven’t even scratched the surface of it all, and yet some can’t recognize it as a sign of a creator. WHY?”

The following us quoted often in the Church:

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

As we consider the idea that the pure in heart shall see God, there is an element of “they shall see God” in one’s ability to recognize the hand of God in His creations, but that ability is contingent on “yielding to the enticings of the Holy Spirit” – on having a heart purified by that Holy Spirit. It is relatively easy for many people – with even a comparatively weak connection to the Spirit – to see the grandeur of the universal creation and be humbled into a recognition of God in that creation. It is more difficult, however, to rise above the natural man and see God in His most inspiring creation – His children.

From both a religious and evolutionary perspective, we are the height of creation – but we also carry within us its depth. We are gods and devils in very practical terms, and, while it is easy for nearly everyone to see the fallen man (the chasm that separates us from God), it is very hard for many to recognize the embryonic child within that fallen man (the tie that will be bound in heaven).  There is great beauty within and among us, but there also is terrible ugliness.  It is easy to see the caterpillar, but it is very difficult to see the butterfly within that caterpillar when it still is a caterpillar.

One of the most amazing things that happens when our hearts are purified by the power of the Holy Ghost is that, to some degree or another, we glimpse the inner butterflies among and within us while they still are limited by their caterpillar exteriors – and, in glimpsing those butterflies, we suddenly, in a very real and powerful way, begin to see God.

If you don’t live here, we have a law that states that slower traffic must move to the right and allow faster traffic to drive in the inside lanes. It’s commonly called the “move-over law” and people can get rather irate about it for such a highly religious population. So if you’re on one of the inside two lanes of our 8-12 lane freeway and someone has to slow down, they will weave or honk or gesture animatedly.

The real move-over law, however, addresses the obligation we have to move over a lane for emergency or law enforcement personnel who may be stopped on the right, and is intended to protect those who must work close to fast-moving traffic. It’s also commonly employed across the nation for the protection of construction workers. Interesting that we’ve hijacked the name of a safety law for a law about being inconvenienced.

I do tend to drive like a grandma anymore (a significant change from my long commute past), and I don’t feel the need to slow down those who consciously break the law in the inner lanes, so most of the time I drive in the middle or toward the right. As I watched someone weaving, braking, and jumping forward angrily, however, I wondered about a law that makes it illegal to obey the posted law if that interferes with someone else’s ability to freely break it.

I wondered what our society would be like if we applied that widely to other laws or social mores. “You’re in my way. Move over. It’s the law.”

• What do you think?

We received this question from a reader:

My question rests with Heavenly Mother.  We talk as though she exists but practice though she does not and give (no) explanation as to why (i.e. we don’t talk about her out of respect?? When I die, I sure hope my children talk about me, share stories, etc.  that seems very respectful.)

So where does Heavenly Mother sit in the triangle? Doctrine, policy or culture??

In 2011, David L. Paulsen and Martin Pulido published an excellent overview of this very topic, titled “A Mother There” A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven. It is an excellent (though long) read, including the footnotes, and I encourage everyone who has an interest in Heavenly Mother to study that article.

The article begins with the following stanzas from the hymn O, My Father which read

In the heav’ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a mother there.

When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?

I remember the first time I really heard the words from this hymn. It was a stake conference when I was very young, either still in Primary or just in Young Women. My aunt was the stake choir director, and I don’t remember if I actually sang with my mother in the choir, or if I simply attended the rehearsals. Either way, I remember that they sang an arrangement of this hymn, and I remember loving the part that talked about having a Mother in Heaven. It just felt right, and I don’t think I have ever doubted her existence since.

I also don’t remember feeling as though I shouldn’t talk about her, although I do remember my parents giving the same explanation as to why we don’t talk about her, something about her being too sacred and Heavenly Father wanting to protect her from the disrespect He received from us mortal beings. That always seemed like hogwash, but I was young and naive and I didn’t really mind not talking about her at Church as long as I knew that everyone else knew that she was real.

In their article, Paulsen and Pulido immediately state that the existence of a Heavenly Mother is doctrine. I think that much is clear, that we have a Mother in Heaven. Sometimes it seems a little obscure, because she has never really been a topic of a General Conference talk (although she has been mentioned either directly or indirectly by referencing our “heavenly parents” in probably most General Conferences). However, I am confident in asserting that Heavenly Mother exists and is an important part of our eternal identity, and you would be hard-pressed to find a Mormon leader who would argue against that.

Now comes the harder part: why she doesn’t have a more prominent place in our everyday gospel discussions.

In their article, Paulsen and Pulido mention,

Because the Saints are instructed to pray to the Father, and, as President Hinckley pointed out, nothing has been authoritatively revealed about Heavenly Mother, some Latter-day Saints have thought that any mention of her is discouraged by the Church.

This probably answers your question of why no one talks about her. Because there is so little officially revealed doctrine about Heavenly Mother, I believe people have a hard time wanting to bring her up in, say, Gospel Doctrine class, and open the door to all sorts of speculation and possible false doctrine. I love to discuss the things we do know, and I think it is good to use what we do know to help us understand what we don’t know.

If we never talk about something just because we don’t know anything about it, then we are stuck. If no one ever talks about Heavenly Mother, then no one will ever talk about Heavenly Mother, by this logic.

Anath sepulchral stela, Encyclopaedia Britannica

I think that it is beneficial to discuss what we do know about Heavenly Mother, and this article by Paulsen and Pulido really helped me to realize that many prophets and apostles have taught about Heavenly Mother.

They basically asked the same question that you are asking, and according to their research, this is what they found:

Our investigation has led us to conclude that such claims—that the Church mandates silence or gives only simplistic portrayals of Mother in Heaven—are mostly false. In this paper, we will share important historical accounts that cast serious doubt on the specific claims that, first, a sacred silence has always surrounded this treasured Mormon doctrine and that, second, Heavenly Mother’s ascribed roles have been marginalized or trivialized. With respect to the second claim, we will share historical portrayals of Heavenly Mother as procreator and parent, as a divine person, as co-creator of worlds, as coframer of the plan of salvation with the Father, and as a concerned and loving parent involved in our mortal probation.

The authors also mention that their research is not exhaustive, and they only presented a handful of the over 600 quotes relating to Heavenly Mother! So, as you can see, people do talk about her.

To sum up the answer to your question – the existence of Heavenly Mother is doctrine. Beyond her existence, not much has been revealed, but that doesn’t mean the other things leaders have said about her are not possibly true; they are simply not official doctrine. The idea that we shouldn’t speak about Heavenly Mother is definitely cultural. There is no official policy about whether or not we should speak of her, and I would have a hard time believing there is a doctrinal reason why we should not speak of her.

• When was the first time you heard of Heavenly Mother?
• Do you believe that the existence of Heavenly Mother is doctrinal?
• Do you think we should or should not speak of her? Why or why not?

Then I became a mother. All I found myself changing was diapers.

My own dream, to change the world, doesn’t even cross my mind. I am too busy worrying over my children. Am I helping them each find their own way? Am I spending enough time with them? Do they know I love them unconditionally?  Do they recognize the talents they have been blessed with, the greatness they are destined for? Am I up to the task as their mother?

So many questions, not the least of which is “Are my efforts even worth it?”

One hundred years ago F.M. Bareham made this observation,

A century ago [in 1809] men were following with bated breath the march of Napoleon & waiting with feverish impatience for news of the wars. And all the while in their homes babies were being born. But who could think about babies? Everybody was thinking about battles.

In one year between Trafalgar and Waterloo there stole into the world a host of heroes: Gladstone was born in Liverpool; Tennyson at the Somersby Rectory; and Oliver Wendell Holmes in Massachusetts. Abraham Lincoln was born in Kentucky, and music was enriched by the advent of Felix Mendelssohn in Hamburg.

But nobody thought of babies, everybody was thinking of battles. Yet which of the battles of 1809 mattered more than the babies of 1809? We fancy God can manage His world only with great battalions, when all the time he is doing it with beautiful babies. When a wrong wants righting, or a truth wants preaching, or a continent wants discovering, God sends a baby into the world to do it.

And God sends those babies to mothers, to women who will learn what it is to become unselfish nurturers. Whose hands will see hours of service, wiping up crumbs, drying away tears, helping little hands fold in prayer. Whose feet will swell from constant rocking back and forth while soothing a baby to sleep, chasing a toddler, or driving a teen to wherever they need to go. Whose hearts expand and contract with pride and joy and worry and heartache. Whose knees are blistered red from the hours of bending, pleading to God for help in raising those very souls that are really His and just on loan to us.

It is these gentle, caring women — you mothers — whom God calls upon to raise those innocent babies, whether you bore them or adopted them. And I realize my little girl dream has come true. While battles rage, diseases spread, and evil rears its ugly head, God is working quietly behind the scenes using mothers and babies to change the world.

As a child on Mother’s Day I tried to understand what it would be like to one day be a mother.

The year I mourned for a pregnancy that ended too soon I appreciated the mothers around me who shared their similar experiences in support.

Another year I held my 5 month old baby close and realized in a new way what my mother had done for me.

This year I see the fruits of my mothering labors as there are no more diapers to change and my oldest daughter graduates from high school.

I look forward to future Mother’s Days with grandchildren (in the distant future).

What good thing did you learn or experience during this Mother’s Day, as a mother, a child or a spouse?

A few years back I was married for the second time. With my wonderful new husband came his wonderful mother. She was a lady who asked him when we were engaged, “Do you think you are ready to spend your life with a real Lady?” How could I not love her from day one?

However, one Christmas she sent me a gift. It was a strange towel-like thing that I couldn’t figure out how to use. Her note only said, “Because you have such luxurious long red hair.” So I knew it had something to do with my hair. I smiled, was grateful (and told her so) for her thoughtfulness, but I put that gift away in the cupboard seldom to be revisited.

This will be the first mother’s day without my husband’s mother in our lives.  Last year she unexpectedly passed away. It was of course hard, but harder because it was so unexpected and immediate. No more texts saying, “Merry Christmas!” in June because it was snowing in Utah. No more little ‘thoughts for the day’ texts or random calls sharing her life. No more drop-in visits (with her two dogs – ugh) for extended periods as she traveled to see ‘her fam.’

Losing someone is difficult.  It is made easier when you have something of them left to linger on. So I took out the funny towel-thingy and gave it another try. Suddenly, it made sense. I had been trying to put it on upside down! I knew its purpose (for my hair), I loved the giver (my mother-in-love) and I even loved the thought behind the gift, but I didn’t understand how it could work for me. Now I did. Now. . . I don’t dry off after a shower without it. Now, I think of her every single time as I wrap my hair securely and keep my sight clear to finish my preparations for the day. Her gift to me is used and loved and a constant benefit because I now understand how it works in my life.

The Lord hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted. … For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? … Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands (1 Nephi 21:13, 15–16).

I adore my mother. I honor and cherish her. I love that I am a mother, and that has been one of the greatest blessings of my life, but I also treasure the mother whose womb I didn’t come from, but who taught my husband how to treat me (and open my doors). Who sacrificed and cared for him when I was not yet there to do so, and who raised him up to love the Lord. I’m grateful for the understanding of relationships that you must sometimes grow into and understand in a new way, how they fit into your life. I’m grateful for the lessons they inspire on so many levels.

Thank you Linda Jeanne Nipper (Keller) Wilson for being a woman of God, a daughter of the Divine, and a mother to many more than those who share your blood. You are missed; you are loved and still thought about daily.

A week or so ago I sat in a women’s group meeting and listened as a member of the group talked about how girls dress too casually for church nowadays. She mentioned girls wearing leggings under their dresses and clucked, but was quick to bring out a joke about them having the right to “bare arms” when sleeveless dresses were discussed. I thought about that, not because my views run precisely opposite, but because we have a tendency to circle the hens when we get together as women, and to commence pecking. If I were a hen, I’d rather eat bugs than someone’s back feathers, and who needs pecked when she’s down?

I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to see a list of all the things that we think are important enough to correct in our children, and suddenly realize that someone else’s list is far different from our own? Wouldn’t it be mind-expanding to realize that everyone is doing a good job with her parenting, but that in the whole scheme of helping a person develop, there are too many things to work on to do them all at once? Maybe that would help the hens chill out, I thought.

I even sent around a request for people to send me back their list. A few responded good-naturedly, but most were silent. Thankfully, I took a moment to wonder why before I blithely typed out my humorous look at the temptations of the henyard. Thankfully, something inside encouraged me to keep these things and ponder them in my heart before I unloaded my thoughtless pen.

What is the one thing that more women suffer with, I asked myself, particularly faithful women doing their best to improve and taking on the mammoth challenge of raising upstanding children in a fallen-down world? 

The idea that they’re not enough.

As humorous as a list of all the things other women feel are correctable in their children might be to me, how would it feel to read that when overwhelmed, and to have those words arise in one’s mind when sitting exhausted in church just trying to hear one thing, or at the end of the day praying for bedtime, and to know that not only does one feel a failure with the have-tos in one’s own head, but even more so when considering all the have-tos in everyone else’s head?

Good grief. There are enough hens in our own heads.

To all you moms out there:

What you feel inspired to encourage within your children is exactly what they need. They were sent to you because you are precisely the person to help them be who they are. Someone else would probably do this job you’re doing differently, and that would not work well in the whole scheme of things.

You are the best mom for your children.

If you feel inspired to do something differently, do it because you feel right about making that change, not because someone else might think you really should have done that ages ago. There are no other hens in your home, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. If we all remember this, we can make it through a Sunday unscathed now and then.

And what about Sundays and that cheery but dangerous henyard? Marjorie Pay Hinckley, who had the face that I’m trying to grow into, said this:

We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.

She is often attributed authorship to this quote, though it was offered by Linda Bentley Johnson in the 1997 BYU Women’s Conference, about what kind of summing up she wanted her life to have:

I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.

And finally, when the hens began to circle, I think she might remember having said this:

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.

What would Marjorie do? I think she would have laid a wing over her friend and thrown her head back and crowed. You know what’s cool about that?

Nobody gets a headache or loses any feathers.

Image credits: Idhren, artists unknown, and thanks to our readers for helping us with accuracy!

I am a mother.

But before I became a mother, I had a baby.

As a young newly-married woman, I longed for some feeling of accomplishment, some defining moment to announce that I had arrived at adulthood, some type of graduation ceremony to proclaim that I knew how to be a mother and was ready to welcome those precious spirits to my family. Although I felt the weight of various accomplishments like a Bachelors degree and a first real job and I earnestly revered the solemnity of my temple and marriage covenants, the Mother Degree never materialized.

All throughout this young adult, newlywed time, I was oblivious to the distillation of knowledge, experience, faith, and ability that was soaking into my being. I was becoming, even though I didn’t know it.

When we were expecting our first daughter, I read everything I could get my hands on that pertained to childbirth and parenting. I was looking for a succinct to do list of everything I would need to do as a mother. Then I would be fine. I would birth this precious child, take her home and then life would be great. Oh, sure, we’d have some rough days, but most days would look like an episode of The Waltons.

Then it happened. Before I had my Mother Degree. My husband and I visited the midwife for a regular prenatal exam and were told that I was in labor (what?!) and needed to plan to have this baby tonight. She told us to go home and take a nap (are you kidding?!) while she arranged things with the birth center, and that if contractions began in the next two hours, I was to come in without delay.

Within a few hours, my tiny baby girl left the presence of the Savior and was placed in my arms. Why?! Why were they giving this delicate, fragile creature to me? And by they I was referring to the nurses, the midwife, Heavenly Father, my mother, and all of society. I didn’t know what I was doing! How could they be so irresponsible as to place this child in my care?

So we went home.

My husband and I took turns holding her because we were both afraid to lay her down. Wouldn’t that be neglecting her? We held her, rocked her, swayed with her and coaxed her to sleep for 9 months. We were starting to feel like we were doing ok with this parenting gig and then we hit the curve.

It started taking more and more effort to get Rachel to sleep at nap time and bedtime. She wanted me to sleep with her. She wanted to wind her hands in my hair. She wanted me to breathe on her face in just the right pattern and speed. She slept fitfully and when she woke up, she was cranky.

I was at my wit’s end. Wasn’t I being a loving mother? What was wrong? We went to the pediatrician’s office for a regular well baby check up and were seen by a visiting doctor. She asked about Rachel’s sleep patterns. The regular doctor never asked. In my bleary-eyed exhaustion, I unloaded all of the frustrations I was having with Rachel and her sleep and how this problem seemed to consume every moment of the day.

The doctor listened quietly and then said, “She needs to be sleep trained. This is going to be a defining moment for you as her mother. Here’s how to do it.” Then she handed me 2-pages photocopied from a physician’s desk reference, said that we’d come through it ok and then walked out.

So I went home and read the sparse instructions to my husband, then started praying. The basic process of the plan was three steps: 1. Go through a lengthy sleep routine to get baby ready for bed. 2. Lay her in her bed and say, “I love you.” 3. Walk away and do not pick her up until she’s had a good rest. How cruel!

But I had to do it. We had to change the way things were going. I felt like Heavenly Father was watching me and saying, “Well, Mary, you wanted a defining moment, here it is.” I needed to step up and take hold of the power and authority of motherhood. I needed to do something hard because that’s what was best for my baby.

Like most new parents, we survived the initial immersion into parenting and acclimated well. Rachel survived too and adjusted to the new sleep routine fairly quickly. Now she is an active and happy 9-year-old who quite readily puts herself to bed. That one defining moment gave way to another and many more after. With each child, and each passing year, I learn more and grow in my confidence, experience, trust, and abilities. But most importantly, I realize now that I don’t need the Mother Degree.

Because I am a mother.

Mary C. Stelter is a doula and childbirth educator in the Los Angeles area. She serves mothers and families through OCEAN Birth Childbirth Education and Services. She is also a devoted wife to a young bishop and mother to five energetic children. Dipping her toes in the waters of writing after a many years absence, she’s excited to submit other pieces in the future.

God tells us, “If ye are not one ye are not mine.” (D&C 38:27) We are told that to return to God, to be in His kingdom, we must be in relationships. The obvious relationship, the one we talk about most as a qualification for eternal life, is celestial marriage. I believe that God is not only talking about the marriage relationship as a qualification to be His. We are taught that all of mankind is a family; we remind ourselves of this when we call each other Brother and Sister. I think that to have eternal life we need to have developed the ability to have healthy relationships with anyone who crosses our path — all of our brothers and sisters — even if that relationship is as brief as buying a gallon of milk. (Is this one purpose of missionary work? To encourage us to create relationships?)

In the past I’ve mentioned Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: our most basic bodily needs must be met before we are concerned about such things as relationships. There is another theory which proposes that humans’ first need is for relationships, even before the necessities of life. An example given to prove this point is that an abused spouse will stay with the abuser even when threatened with death because the relationship means more than life itself. Another example is the research of Dr. Harry Harlow, in which baby monkeys were deprived of human contact for long periods of time.

No monkey has died during isolation. When initially removed from total social isolation, however, they usually go into a state of emotional shock, characterized by … autistic self-clutching and rocking. One of six monkeys isolated for 3 months refused to eat after release and died 5 days later. The autopsy report attributed death to emotional anorexia.

Often our interactions with others are motivated by this innate desire for relationships, although this is not always how we label it. Instead we may say we feel like no one listens to us, or that our efforts don’t matter, or that we are lonely. All of these are expressions of our desire for healthy relationships.

A relationship is not something that we can provide for ourselves; it takes two people to have a relationship. As I thought about this obvious fact of relationships it occurred to me that it echoes the pattern of the priesthood. A man cannot give himself a blessing, neither is it usual recourse for him to bless the sacrament and pass it to himself (I’ve heard of this happening in times of extreme hardship such as when a man is a POW). As the priesthood is the power of God on the earth it is informative to realize that to use that power a relationship of some type must exist, a connection between two people. It illuminates the words, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” (Matt 18:20) Doesn’t this line alone show us how much relationships mean to our Heavenly Father? And not only our relationship with the members of the godhead, but also our relationships with each other, familial or stranger.

I think of a time my husband was asked to go to the hospital to give a stranger a blessing. What kind of relationship could exist in that situation, you might wonder? My husband eventually provided great service for that person after promptings he received while administering a blessing and providing reassurance. That experience continues to influence his perspective on service, so I would say that brief and important relationship led to great things even though it was with a stranger.

I believe that one of the most instructive relationships we have in this life is the parent child relationship. Not only relating parent to child, but also child to parent. I’m in that place in life where I have an adult daughter and my parents are still living, a generational sandwich. In this situation I view myself as a child relating to my parents, as well as a parent relating to her child. It powerfully demonstrates to me the learning which takes place in families. I believe this is one of the reasons that God’s commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in effect, because there are lessons to be learned that are best learned in a familial setting. Maybe they can only be learned in a family setting.

A relationship isn’t loving a person no matter what they do, even God has boundaries. He says that we are all welcome in His heaven, but we must first repent and obey. In the same way we can tell our children, “I want you to be with me but to do so you must meet the requirements of our relationship.” This is not cruel; it is teaching them from the beginning, in their first relationship, how to love appropriately in a way that promotes growth and happiness. Disciplining our children could seem lacking in love but we are teaching them the habits and behaviors that are conducive to healthy relationships. Discipline protects love, because we are taking a stand against things that destroy love. We send a message to the child that for them to get what they want (love and relationship) there is a responsibility associated with it.

It is necessary to be wise in our instruction and discipline.

Good parenting isn’t emotionally bludgeoning the child into some clone or ideal of the perfect child. It’s being a partner in helping young ones discover what God intended for them to be and helping them reach that goal. *

If God’s goal for us is eternal life — enjoying relationships forever — I can’t think of a better thing to help our children aspire to than healthy, productive relationships.

All blessings are predicated upon obedience, so if we are blessed with loving relationships it means that we were obedient to the laws which govern relationships. So it makes sense that if we want our children to receive the blessing of healthy relationships we need to teach them to be obedient to the laws which govern relationships. The laws that govern relationships are the commandments.

God gives us commandments because he wants to have a relationship with us. In fact his paramount commandment is to have a relationship with him, “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart might mind and strength.”  The same process I described above, which we should do for our children, is what God does for us. By teaching us truth and commandments he is instructing us in relationships. The second commandment is to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” (Both found in Matt 22)

God is asking us to first be in a relationship with him so we can learn how, and then he asks us to be in relationships with others. Commandments all seem to point to relationships, to meaningful connections between people.

The obvious commandment to promote family relationships is to honor father and mother. What about the commandment to not covet? Coveting is a sin of jealousy, which pits one person against another, the destruction of a potential relationship.  Not lying is necessary for the trust that is essential for any relationship. The Word of Wisdom is a commandment that enables us to have full use and control of our bodies, which is necessary for relationships. If we are under the influence of unhealthy substances, or in ill health it is difficult if not impossible to fully function in a healthy relationship. Things (substances) become our focus instead of relationships.

It would be an interesting endeavor to think about the commandments that you have the most difficult time with and consider how they apply to relationships. Do you see the cause and effect between the difficult commandment and the state of your relationships? Sometimes it is difficult for us to see that connection because we are too close to it, or have been stuck in it so long. It is my belief that for every relationship problem we have, there is a corresponding commandment which we are violating, possibly in ignorance.

A useful way to think about the commandments is they are loving counsel from a wise, all-knowing Heavenly Father. His goal is our eternal happiness, and His commandments are the road map He has given us to return to Him, which is the only way we will be eternally happy. How significant are the home and the family to our eternal happiness? On page 141 of my little brown book, it states, “Indeed our heaven is little more than a projection of our homes into eternity.” Elder L. Tom Perry

As Mother’s Day approaches I think about what mothering really means. It is an extension of God’s commandment to love my neighbor. (You can’t get much more neighborly than pregnancy.) Often I think of mothering as a to do list: make dinner, fold laundry, grocery shop, pick up children from school. Instead I realize that mothering is all about relationships: my individual relationship with each one of my children and with their father, my husband. If I think of myself as a mother to all who enter my life and home then I see not just errands to run or places to go, but people to meet and a world full of potential relationships. This is the pattern God has shown me by His example and by commandment. He first loved me and so I also love, catching a glimpse of eternity.

* Boundaries, Cloud and Townsend, 1992; much of this essay was inspired by this book.

Photo credits: www.GlynLowe.com via Compfight,  jean olahus via Compfight

Thankfully, I’ve never been asked to speak in sacrament meeting on Mother’s Day and I hope I never am. It seems like the task most likely to result in failure. People are different, so it makes sense that not every talk will be meaningful to each person, which we’re usually  very understanding of on an average Sunday. But this is Mother’s Day, the big one, in which we hope to show our appreciation and care for the people in our life that have literally given us life. How can a talk or a token gift possibly be enough?

It can’t, this one day isn’t enough. Let’s expand our view of how people and the church express their appreciation for motherhood.

Throughout the year does your family or ward have a tradition that celebrates motherhood, promotes motherhood, or makes a difference in the lives of women currently mothering?